Iutu

“When you look at your image in a mirror, can you tell yourself that you are truly worthy of another's affection?”

It had seemed so simple a question. Certainly there would--

“No.”

I made that mistake once, and, while I hold no disdain, I do not intend to allow that weakness to ever show again.

On Sundays the bulls get so bored
When they are asked to show off for us
There is the sun, the sand, and the arena
There are the bulls ready to bleed for us

I stand stern and tall. Proud among the living, alone amongst the dead. Dwarfed by the blue aliens and towering over that pious paladin Mallard who stands with eyes lightly closed, his curling beard rimed with frost, gauntleted hand resting on his weapon. Tamlin is staring sidelong at me, his lip curled back like an animal, a gleaming long canine visible.

It's the time when grocery clerks become Lothar
It's the time when all ugly girls
Turn into swans, aaahh.

Better take care
Think I better go, better get a room
Better take care of me
Again and again

"Love me."

"If you earn it."

I know you did not intend it as such. No games, you say, but I must earn the reward of my request. No games, you say, but put your desires above mine.

It was a simple request, one you clearly understood.

And you said that I must earn it.

I am i'utu.

My water seeps from my eyes in salten tears as sap does from a cut tree. Thick, slow, stead. I weep not for despair nor sadness but to bring release to the pain cradled within the fragile shell of my body.