Trouble with Voice

I'd say that style is how you, as an author, assemble your sentences and your environments, turns of phrase you like to use, things of that nature.

Your character's voice, I would say, is more how this character interacts with your environment, what they say, what they notice, stuff like that. 

So while your character's voice is written in your style, it has more of a focus, a lens on it.

Lemme see if I can whip up a quick example of my personal definitions . . .

Graysen allowed his horse to amble its way along the trail easily.  This area had been a particular haven for bandits for the last few months, and courtesy of an interested party, he was now carrying a bit of appetizing bait for them.  The fee was small, but he considered it a part of his effort to beautify the world.  He cracked his neck and tried to relax and look unconcerned, although the weight of his sword on his back seemed to be growing by the moment, accompanied by a twitching heat in his arm to draw it and be done with the damned business.

Rhywallwn loped through the forest, his movement as natural as the leaves rustling in the slight breeze.  His every sense extended as he searched for the interlopers, and he was rewarded with the faint scent of woodsmoke and grease.  Tual materialized at his side, rumbling low in his throat, and Rhywallwn patted his shoulder, feeling the play of muscles under taut hide.  This trash would learn, by claw and bow, what it was worth to bring violence to lands under the guardianship of the kal'dorei.

Okay, quick and dirty, like I said.  Both scenarios are basically the same, and as they were written quickly, I'm sure they are stylistically very similar.  However, Graysen's view is more on his duty, on objects, on his thought processes.  Rhywallwn's take centers more on how he senses the environment, how he moves, how he does the task at hand without focussing overmuch on the big picture.  Furthermore, as human and kal'dorei, there are certain elements either present or not in each.

Now, as far as making personalities, making voices, different - it's tough.  How similar are the characters in question?  Their life experiences and racial backgrounds?  It's difficult to play these elements up without becoming caricature - Graysen becomes Human Mercenary, Rhywallwn becomes Kal'dorei Ranger. 

Vocabulary can play into it very well - with Graysen, I'd use words that play up weight, duty, weaponry, a quick overview of salient characteristics, whereas Rhywallwn would be more about wind and low temperatures, animal actions (sniffing, stalking, loping), animal descriptions (sinews, hide, claws), a bit more vague but a bit more poetic.

A tall, lean person in a Graysen story would be a slim, sharp, and long as the blade on their back; in a Rhywallwn story . . . hell, now that I think about it, he would describe them more as moving with liquid grace, their features having a wolfish cast, the humorous twitch of an eyebrow over one clear eye, something like that.  It's not that they see the same things and describe them differently, it's that they see totally different qualities in the same person.

I'm sorry, I know this has been rambling, and probably not giving you the direct feedback you wanted, but I didn't really want to give you direct feedback - I just wanted to offer my take on the question itself.  Who cares if the characters have similar voices if it is appropriate for them to be.  That would seem to be more important to me - not do they sound similar, but do they sound like themselves.

Dum Spiro, Spero

I find voice is very closely collected to style.  Theryl's stories are almost always written in the first person with a limited vocabulary.  Theryl also usually drops initial articles and pronouns when she speaks.  If Theryl were telling the story above the last sentence would be something like:

"Choked on my own blood then and everything went black and cold."

Belmilia, on the other hand, is much better educated, uses bigger words, and has a much more formal style of speaking.  Bel's stories are also told in the third person.  Bel would probably say:

"This is most annoying." was Belmilia's final thought as her blood filled her lungs and she plunged into the cold darkness.

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New occasions teach new duties, time makes ancient good uncouth,
They must upward still and onward who would keep abreast of truth.

((This has long been a concern of mine as well. I admit to willingly trying to disguise myself as an author so that my characters stand on their own without a connection to me or each other. I have very little faith in most to not assume an in character reaction with an out of character one.

For me, mood is important. The narrative tone of a story is the riskiest endeavor because in the end it IS me that is the narrator for all of my characters and the mood of each I use to set the tone and keep each of their voices unique as best as I can.

For all of them, I only knew two or three things about their personality and I waited to "hear" them speak in their own voice.

Tamlin is stubborn, prideful, and noble. He is very concerned with doing what is right in his black and white worldview. His mood comes off sort of brooding. His senses are bright and tuned to the land. He stalks, prowls and fights. He is an active and instinctual character. I usually start his stories in the middle of some action or activity.

"....The hunter stalks the hidden path with deliberate slowness and silence. The trees hold the secret of the trail that leads to the Golden Hall but not from him, never from him. He knows this way and sees it clear. He always has, even as he came here singing his heart to the trees long ago…show me the way that I may tread it well. The forest is his madrigal, and knowing his true name and moon name both and the blood that calls within him, the ancient green yields its dream.

Tamlin makes a reverent gesture to each of the old guardian effigies that appear in sequence as the path climbs upward through the high wilderness of Feralas. The monoliths of the colossals loom alongside the trail that steadily steepens. He catches glimpses of the twin pillars like sister sentinels through intermittent gaps in the trees..."

Nuuliniir on the other hand is not a man that thinks too deeply. He is easy going, mellow and slow to anger. He is secure in his faith, in the tolerance for all things alive that the Naaru teach. His world is one of elemental spirits that are at the call of his large hands. His mood is a bit lumbering always uplifting and gentle if not a trifle confused for the strange world he finds himself in.

"...Nuuliniir Fortus Bravadai is not a blacksmith....the hulking Draenai tells himself as he surveys his crude attempt to patch the goldenwood doors of the Nightsabre Hall. He chose the color well enough…mithril and copper make a warm shining surface that when polished, compliments the original deep glow of the wood. The repair though…the only good thing to be said really is that he and Ala made it together. Perhaps this is what the elf-cat that is some sort of leader here was upset about? In the full light of the morning, the metal piece he and Aladiana bolted into place between the gap in living wood looks as well meant as a pile of elekk dung in the middle of the Vault of Lights."

Mogwynn Wolf-Father...called Meurig in his form as a wandering shan is patient, wild and a little arrogant. He KNOWS many things, being Ancient and is sure of himself. His voice is like a song...often melancholy and lonely...wild and searching. I also tend to hear him in the first person.

"...The truth is, I am not a wolf…not really, though I have sang their songs and hunted with them and fought for liver, kidneys and heart still warm from the belly of a fresh kill. I am not their alpha, though they follow me in this world and the one that should be.

Nor am I the shan I pretend to be, the bearded old sage with the odd eyes and the affable smile. Surely I can call the Green in all the ways that shan can and more. I can take the shapes that I am expected to when all the while the shape I wear is as permanent as a cloak.  If I shrugged it aside and stood tall, would the little moon children even recognize what towers over them? Would I anymore?

There is such dischord it is hard to think clear. This world is….invasive. I had forgotten how deeply it can sink into skin and blood and bone. So tangible and fixed this place is and the flesh…is undeniable…it must be fed and rested, washed and covered and washed again."

Do they sound different enough? I gave up really trying to make them. I just let them all talk to me as they will. Creativity is half about will and half faith I think. My advice, Lirriel is to look to mood and as Graysen said the way your characters sense the world. Let them make the connections that each individual mind will make in a given situation. Have faith and keep writing. I and many people enjoy your stories.

And my secret? Well..that depends alot on voice. I wonder if it worked...))

"...His ocean is below him again; a vast black rolling sea under a dark sky with out starlight, without anything. A murmur of water in motion and his Master’s voice which rules even this place, holding dominion over the waves and controlling the pace at which they crest and toss are the sounds he is most aware of.

 You wish oblivion in me. You half long for that, and you half fear it, don't you?

Distantly he hears his own strangled cries and wails, his own breathing ragged and hard taken. Maybe he answers or maybe he just screams. Closer, he can make out the creak of leather punctuated by a crack of the lash. The smell of his blood and acrid fear sweat; a taste of blood in his is mouth bright and metallic and sharpens him for a moment. He has come once more to the ocean and soon he will drown within, his fear falling past him like a black stone.

He is suspended above the dark sea, a hawk held in a web of agony with his wings spread wide, he longs to fall and soon he will, fall and submerge into obsidian waves of pain. If the voice lets him…"

Be a generous friend and a fair enemy.

I've had this problem a bit too, where I'm writing something and seriously wonder what would happen if I just replaced the names of one character with another, whether or not the stories would be distinguishable.  Around then I'll probably delete the whole thing and start over--not really the best solution, but a practicle one.  Kinda.  I guess my main way around that issue is to have a radically different writing style for each character I play.  Not just what I'm saying, but how I'm saying it.  For example,

Olaff I write in the basic 3rd person narrative.  Nothing fancy.  Occasionally I'll sprinkle in some visual aid and stuff from the Quran or the Bible or something a Civil War General said.

Karamazov I've only written in a comic style.

http://www.rp-haven.com/blog/karamazov/way_blade_part_2

Matador, I don't think I've ever posted anything on this site, but I've tried to take a few queus from Hunter Thompson's Gonzo writing style...with mixed result.

Twenty Six is all first person, but all robot like.

http://www.rp-haven.com/blog/twenty_six/heavy_metal

I guess the advice I'd give is this--read a lot of other stuff.  Find an author that has a different sort of writing style, and pick up some things here and there from them.  Borrow liberally and often.

I'm a big proponent of reading stories aloud.  I find that I have a better sense of syntactical rhythem, character language, and other made-up terms while listening (rather than reading). 

Bouncing off Graysen, I also find it can be fun to practice writing about the same event (or even writing the same sentense) in different voices.  Sometimes, I take three or four characters and do the above exercise, then try shuffling them around.  If I find that one writing style is working too well for a completely different character's priorities/mentality/world view, I rethink it.

Thanks for the advice and encouragement. Graysen's idea is definitely one I should try out, and it looks like others concur with it. I may have to play with word choice more between characters.

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Alt chars: Camyra, Vyana, Daevlynne, Lormar

Horde alt: Linnadia

I'd have to agree with alot of what Graysen said. Particularly in 1st person (and to a lesser extent in other perspectives), your story needs to be filtered through the lens of that character. Each character is going to look at the same scene in a different way, notice different things, and describe stuff differently.

I tend to write in a variation of close (or limited) 3rd person perspective. The story, while still in a 3rd person narrative, is limited to the perspective of the primary character. You can do it in a detached way, by simply limiting the narrator's knowledge to whatever the character would know  - or by filtering the narration through the personality of the character.  I think that sort of enhances the problem you've described above - not only do I need to write in my narratorial voice, I also need to make sure the character comes through and it's seen through their eyes. It's a tricky balance to walk.

One of the things that is characteristic of the way I write helps me out alot - I tend to become very close to what I'm writing, almost like I'm the character in the scene (but still describing it from afar). If I can be in their shoes, imagining the experiences from their point of view, it helps me bring out the character's voice clearly. It probably sounds sort of crazy...but for me, writing is a very visceral experience. For me, writing each character is a very different emotional experience..and I rarely start off thinking "this is the way this character thinks, the words they would use, and here's their personality"...it sort of just happens to me. I know I'm doing it right when I have to "come down" after a good writing session. :-p

I also like doing the exercise of seeing a single scene from several different perspectives. (The Andri/Kirlas blog, Union, actually has a second half where you see the whole thing from Kirlas's perspective. It's fun because it's like revisiting this really awesome memory, but with different eyes :-)  ).

Writer's voice, though, is such a funny thing. It's so complicated. It's really this thing that transcends word choice or the stuff on the page...if you have a strong one, you'll see it, even if you're writing another character or a different style of stuff. I've been writing and publishing for almost 10 years now and I am just starting to get to the point where I really feel comfortable enough in my voice that I don't think much about it anymore...

I have this problem most with Neun and Tiri.  They're both stubborn, educated, and quiet, however Tiri has more anger and loathing in her than Neun does.  I try to portray Tiri's anger (and inner fears) more, and focus on Neun's natural curiosity.  I try to take a more scientific approach to Neun's first person stories, and make anything emotional primarily third person. 

I use character speach patterns to help distinguish between my characters' voices more for my own frame of referance to help me keep them true to themselves. Especially now since Ash has become alot more introspective.

For example, Tundrarunner never uses contractions as he does not speak orcish well. So I try to bring his phrasing across as somewhat unnatural and try to avoid using common slang. He will also always call people by their full names (Hakkajin'ju, never Hakka. Ashhoof, never just Ash. Ac'Meco, never 'Meco, Artisania and never just Artie.. etc) Add to this, most of his entries are in the form of first person journals as part of his memoirs. This is twofold in that I try to bring across that his writings have been translated from the native tongue into some common language (orcish or common) but sometimes I dont think that comes across as well as I'd like. It's quirks like these that help keep the voice of the writings consistant and prevent them from blending into any of my other characters.

Ash, on the other hand, speaks in a different way then he writes which is getting a bit harder to maintain as I go.

"Death is the road to awe."

 /paladin Redeem

:) I want to revive this, so... live! Live, post, and speak again! /mystic hand gestures

Soryne uses more short sentences, I think. She's more concise, and she doesn't describe as much, or quite as well. She also repeats things for emphasis, where as Alenei would describe an important thing more than an unimportant thing. Example-  "It hurts. Light, it hurts, it hurts..." whereas Alenei would say something like "It burns, but aches as if with cold. I feel like the pain is chewing through my shoulder like a wild beast eating me alive." Alenei uses longer sentences and compound sentences without conjunctions. For example- "Her dress is flashy and low-cut, her make-up badly applied, her shoes high-heeled and glittery."

Banner not made by me. I'm not that talented.