(( A note of explaination: I had to post this, even though I am not caught up to this point in the story just yet... what happens when a Non-RPer encounters two RPers who continue to play along long past the point of reason? Read and see! All of the text from "Sephrroth" is rendered exactly as he typed it, with nothing removed or corrected. The only thing that we changed was to refuse to allow him to godmode us into being bitten, having our blood sucked, or being "punchis" the face, but instead redirected everything he did to the stairs. Enjoy! We certainly did! ))

Leiral and I were just shopping, really. We'd had a... well, a rather shocking, unpleasant experience earlier. Not so much as experience as... the thing we witnessed. We were browsing in a lighting goods shop when we heard this strangly thick voice behind us. It was as if someone were talking through a mouthful of phlegm, or maybe marbles.

"its the popo" it said.

Leiral and I ignored it and continued to browse the lamps, still shaken by what we'd seen in the Bazaar's square.

"deedee" said the voice behind us. A young Sin'dorei with long blonde hair leapt past us, up onto the ramp. "gigttygi" he said.

We tried to ignore him. He kept leaping past us, interrupting our conversation. running in and out of the store.

"deedee"

"dee dee"

"deedee?"

"deedee"

"deedee"

"... So," said Leiral, finally setting down the candelabra she'd been looking at and giving me a meaningful look. The twittering blonde man was grating on our nerves.  "Let's see what else there is to see, eh?"

I nodded. We headed back out in the Bazaar, looking for the stalls and wagons that had once filled the place, checking the storefronts. I gave her the name of the woman - at least, I was pretty sure it was a woman - who had helped me procure my own furnishings. I'd simply sent her a list of what I'd wanted, she sent me back a list of costs, and I'd sent her the gold. Everything had been delivered, and I'd never had to set foot in this city, whose very familiarity had become frightning.

"deedee"

"deedee"

He ran right up to us.

"Are you busking?" I asked, looking him up and down. We'd been telling Koani only an hour before how the Bazaar had once been packed with street performers and entertainers, about the joys of coming down with a handful of copper as a child and watching the shows.

"wt?"

I blinked "Pardon?"

"deedee" With that, he hopped away, up and down the steps, clambering up the stone railing and then falling. Repeatedly.

"... a wretched in the making?" I asked Leiral.

"... Maybe it's modern art," she suggested. "Or that." Leiral brushed at her dress, looking around. "... You want to know something funny?"

"Sure,"I answered, as the blonde man disappeared once more.

"I've been waiting for so long to come back... to come back home. And now I get here..." Leiral just shook her head.

I nodded. "It isn't home."

"deedee"

"sup"

"... What?"

"No, I've just eaten, but thank you." I told him, trying to be polite.

He eyed us both up and down, then whistled. I clapped, still trying to be polite.

"Do you know any other tunes?"

"Can you juggle, or something?" Leiral asked.

"wt u think im an entortainor"

I struggled to understand his language. Maybe his tongue was damaged in an accident...

"... Are you looking for alms?" Leiral asked. The thought hadn't occured to me. Maybe the poor thing was a beggar.

"Well... aren't you singing that "dee dee" song?" I asked.

"thats not a song"

"What is it?"

"goerge mancie says that"

"Who? I'm afraid I'm not familiar with the name."

"are u a beanner"

"A beginner at what exactly?" I was very puzzled by his manner of speech. He really must have had his jaw or tongue damaged, perhaps during the War, or maybe by one of those dreadful constructs...

"beanner=mexican"

"Is that a cooked dish of some sort?"

Leiral just looked confused.

"I don't think it's in my repertoire."

"mexican are called beanners" The blonde man said. "mexicans"

"I haven't the faintest idea what a mexican is," I told him.  "Is that in the Eastern Kingdoms somewhere? A small hamlet, perhaps?"

"mexicans live in mexico"

"Is that near Ironforge?" Leiral said, perking up slightly.

"no in real life"

I arched a brow. Real life? What in the world. "Have you been chewing bloodthistle per chance?"

"do u play WoW 24/7"

"I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about."

"WoW=world of warcraft"

"3.42857 is the answer to that little bit of math, though." Not that I thought he actually wanted it, but...

"mexico is next to amarica"

"I've really never heard of either of those places," Leiral said.

"Amarica sounds like a girl's name. Is that someone you lost in the war?" I felt sorry for the poor thing. So many of us were traumatized by our losses.

"no"

"A sister, maybe?"

"Mother?" Leiral added.

"ur giving me a headack"

"Your head's cracked?" I looked at him with alarm, then called upon the Light to try and heal him.

"... That could explain a lot," said Leiral dryly.

"Indeed."

"You really should get a doctor to look at that, though."

"no" he said, "not that"

I guess the poor thing was afraid of doctors.

"Head injuries are no laughing matter, sir." Leiral pointed out.

"Did you fall down, maybe?"

"I don't really feel you're treating this situation with the seriousness it deserves."

"its not an injure"

"I saw you jumping up and down the stairs," I reminded him. "Is it a natural defect, perhaps? Or war-trauma?"

"Oh, my! You weren't born this way, were you? How terrible..." said Leiral. I got the feeling that was exactly what she thought though...

"no"

"No wonder Amarica ran away with that Mexico chap, I suppose," I sympathized.

"thare not people" the blonde man muttered. "thare countrys"

"I've never heard of them and I'm fairly well-travelled." Okay, that was a bit of a stretch. I was well-traveled now, but I had been innocent of most geography at one point.

Leiral nodded.

"u know wt forget it"

"I'll do my best, you may be assured."

Leiral nodded, agreeing with me.

"get off the computer and check the atlis"

"These are stairs," I said, pointing at the place we were standing, which was definately NOT a computer. "The only place I've seen computers is in Gnomeregon. You really did bump your head, didn't you?"

"if ur a real pirson i wont be able to walk through u" he said, beginning to run around in circles.

"What does prison have to do with it? Is that where your head was injured?"

"Or maybe that's where this Amarica woman is," Leiral suggested.

"Perhaps."

"NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Oh! I've got it!" Leiral snapped her fingers. "You met that Amarica woman in prison, she ran off with Mexico, and the grief has caused your head to hurt!"

"nvm"

It was such an odd humming noise to make. "Is that another song?" I asked him.

He turned to a young man with a lynx companion who had stopped to watch. "wt u wont"

"Love-sickness and a head injury. What a grievous combination," I sighed, agreeing with Leiral.

"no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" the fellow yelled at top volume.

Leiral nodded, sagely. "Poor fellow."

"i have no injury"

"You said your head was cracked," I pointed out.

"You were very clear about it," Leiral added, kindly not pointing out that he'd been very UNclear about almost everything else.

"head ack"

"You also said these stairs were a computer," I reminded him.

"Yes, see? There you go again..."

I nodded at Leiral.

"We've established your head trauma."

"And we're very, very sorry for it." I said, nodding. "Believe me."

"You really have no idea," Leiral muttered.

"it means that my head herts but nothings rong"

"Perhaps you should lie down and have a rest? Or visit the hospital?"

Leiral agreed with me.

"nothing is rong with me"

"...you don't say."

"wait i forgot"

Leiral gave me a skeptical look.

"Head injuries can do that," I said.

The blonde man snapped his teeth together wildly in the air. "im a vampire"

"A what?"

"Pardon?"

He lay on the ground and began chewing on the stone stairs, making sucking noises.

"I think you really should go lie down. You seem to be under a... great deal of stress." Leiral said, wincing.

"Why is he sucking the stairs, Leiral?"

The man lunged in my general direction and began chewing on the stairs again.

"I'm... really not sure."

"Oh dear. He's very delusional."

Leiral looked down at the elf with his teeth clamped to the stone. Then he made wild slapping motions, hitting the stairs as often as he hit nothing.

"You might chip a tooth doing that." Leiral said.

"You'll hurt yourself hitting the stone. What did the stairs do to you?" I was franklly boggled by this behavior. Weren't those constructs supposed to... well, control things like this? Was he a Wretched, the beginnings of one? Was he just insane? Was he actually injured? Or was he just doing it for attention?

"Maybe these are the steps that he was arrested on," Leiral guessed.

I snapped my fingers. "Or, where he fell down and cracked his head!"

"Or both! Ah!"

"ur stupid"

The young hunter with the lynx laughed.

"He was running from the guards," Leiral began, "tripped, hit his head, got sent to prison, met Amarica, escaped with her, and she ran off with Mexico!"

I nodded at Leiral. "It all makes sense now."

"It really does."

"im going to kill u two"

The hunter laughed again. The blonde man aimed another wild punch in the hunter's direction, only crashing into the stairs again.

I murmured to Leiral, "surely he's escaped from somewhere. They wouldn't let someone like this just wander about unattended."

He continued to make wild, violent motions at us, but of course, he was so addled that he hurt no one but himself.

"Dear me... you do need someone to look after you." I couldn't help pitying him.

Pardon my eavesdropping," said the hunter. "I was amused by this interchange."

"dick"

"... You wouldn't happen to have seen if he has a caretaker wandering about, would you..." Leiral asked.

"Oh... did you hurt that too?" I was appalled.

"No, but he seems to be looking for someone named 'Dick.'" The hunter said, grinning.

"My goodness. You should really... you know. Ease off on the statuary, I suppose."

"... This could explain a lot about why Amarica ran off with Mexico."

"Perhaps you should just sing your song again. That seemed to make you happy, poor thing."

"It was a nice song."

"will u shut up"

Leiral hummed, softly, "Dee dee, dee dee..." She bobbed her head in time. "It has a good beat. You can dance to it."

"I knew a Tauren once who sang a tune like that," the hunter said.

"Really?"

"Did you? Maybe that's where this poor fellow learned it."

Leiral gasped.

"Oh! Maybe Mexico was a Tauren!"

"It is a Tauren-ish name!"

"We should ask around Thunder Bluff."

"im going to kill u Lairal and Nenuia;"

"South Mulgore, most like," the hunter said helpfully.

"Are you familiar with Mulgore? Not many elves are these days."

"It's a lovely place."

"been thare hated it" the blonde man fumed.

"... Well, it must remind you of Amarica."

"no"

"A fine country, though I prefer a nice coastline," the hunter said, shrugging.

"Mexico, then?"

"no"

"No? Then, what?"

"He must have taken that head crack to the front of the head. I'm pretty sure that's the part that controls language." I said, wincing.

"Very possible..."

The blonde fellow ran away again. The hunter begged our pardon for his intrusion and went on his way, with the Light's blessing on him. Leiral hummed "Dee dee, dee dee", quite softly. It really was catchy, the way she put it together.

The blonde man ran up and stood in our faces again.

"deedee is not a song its a phrase"

I hummed along with Leiral.

"i dont have a head injury"

"So you say." I was tired of the blonde man. I turned to Leiral. "We really should be getting back home, Leiral."

"We should."

"wait"

"Yes?"

"Thank you for singing to us, fellow."

"it wasnt a song"

"Well it was certainly amusing."

"It was"
.
"all the ladies think it is amusing"

"... Perhaps not for the reasons you might assume."

I hid a grin behind my hand.

The blonde man blew us both a kiss, one after the other. We waved goodbye.

"u two are sexxy"

"Well.... thank you." I turned to Leiral again. "Your place or mine, Leiral?"

"Mine." We smiled at each other. The blonde man seemed oddly transfixed. "I'll be there shortly," Leiral said.  "Something else I need to take care of."

I nodded. "Don't get into trouble!"

"Who, me?" Leiral grinned and walked away. I triggered my hearthstone.

As the green light surrounded my hands, the blonde man grinned wickedly and shouted one last question at me.

"are u a lez"