Conversations Wif My Monk...er...Gorilla

Hey, good ta see youse again.  You want some booze?  Me got some new stuff from Gadgetzan…here, siddown…have some.

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I hear.  I hear what it-she call me.  I not-dominant for no-kill her.

Dat what Grimmy say to me after we left Scartaris at Shadowprey.  Grimson is my gorilla dat me caught in Un’Goro…him white wif blue-black skin and big time scary.  Him hate da word ‘monkey.’  She called him dat. 

Yes, you nice to not kill, I thought-said back to him, She might not know word for hairy-strong-hunter in greenskin-twoleg.  She pink-soft-pointy-twoleg…not know all greenskin words.

Me stressed da word-concept ‘nice’ again.  Much as me try, Grimmy not get to unnerstand ‘nice’ very easy.  To him, not-dominant is closest as can come…but not ‘NOT-dominant’ which means weak, dat have different sound-taste to it.  Add to it dat we speak in a sort of empythalepy…er…empathic-telepathy…yeah dat’s da word dat Shar said…feel-think me calls it…and certain tings not come out completely right.

We kill horn-demons.  You stop; take it-she to tusk-twoleg camp.  Why?  You make it-she into she…make your sunmoon-mate?

"No!" me said, shaking head and chuckling.  Grimson always tink dat ‘bout all females.  Da concept of it-she is a new ting for Grimmy.  Wif gorillas, all females is ‘she’ which means ‘ready to be had when dey smell ready.’ 

Why not?  She smell ready, like all twolegs.  She not scarred or sick.  She wiggle-grunt, as is due to Master!  You go, take.  I wait here.

Me sighed.  See?  Me had to get ‘it-she’ through his head.  Him notice all female two-legs, udder den tusk-twolegs and horn-hoof-twolegs (trolls and tauren) always smell ready.  Me hadda tell him dat female two-legs was roughly equal to males.  Dat where me come up wif it-she for him.  It-she be an unattached (or uninterested, let’s say) female dat will not just give it up to da master (which is me, for Grimson…mages call the position ‘alpha’ but me not know why).

Go! him say.  She weak, she submit, you great hunter-greenskin…she submit, you wiggle-grunt for two, three times.  I kill lizards and wait.  She pointy-soft-twolegs…all submit to Master.  I smell, you like-want.

Do not!  Just like to look at, like all pointy-softs.  Like smelling food.  Can like without having.

Grimson snorted and threw sand at me.  You sun-touched Master.  Smell food, eat food, no stop.  You not get food, wiggle-grunt, shiny-rock…nothing for take.  Why?

To be nice.  To help.  Make it-she not-challenge-bareteeth.  Make happy.

Make weak you.  She think she dominant.  I kill

No, no.  Here…food.  Calm down.

Me petted Grimson while giving him some rot-fruit (his word-concept for mushroom) and beamed relaxing thoughts into him.  Grimson was big-time Master when me caught him.  Him rankle deep inside dat me is Master so him take very little to get riled up to kill tings.  Since him can’t kill me…me know, it sound bad…just gorilla way…him kill other tings…sometimes just fer fun.  Not tink too badly of him, he good friend, just more of a slave to his Beast den most of us.

Me take her to tusk-twoleg for twoleg reason.  You hairy-strong-hunter no feel-know.  It same kind of thing that lets us live in huge camps with many packs and make rock-wood caves.  Without little help-tasks like that, we soon kill each others.

Me looked around.  We was away from Shadowprey so me switched to talking.  Me talk to Grimmy a lot…most peeps look at me funny…but is easier fer me to say it to him, den have it translate through whatever magic dat stuff is we do.

“Me try to make world better place by doing little tings like dat Grimmy…like when you and yer harem would groom each udder.”

Always for wiggle-grunt reasons.  Food and no-sick when pick off crunchies.  Dat lead to wiggle-grunt.

“Dat why youse gorillas not make buildings and live in da villages den…see…everyting all about sex and violence and control alla time…”  me trailed off, tinking.

Grimson grinned at me mentally.

“Yeah, okay so we not too different…but we can not tink about it once in a while and do tings like build buildings.  And none of us rut inna streets…oh wait.  Um…anyway, me not like dat…even if most elfies me meet make da lust-eyes at me.  Me tink dat dem teasing.”

“Dat was fun too…running wif her to Shadowprey…was nice to have company dat has da ability to speak in complete sentences.  And dat wiggles and jiggles in all da right spots.”

Grimson stopped moving for a second and showed his teeth…laughing instead of going-to-kill-you.

“What?  Me say me like lookin.’  ‘Sides, when me was a pup, someone brunged me here for da cookin’ book.  Me not remember who…maybe was Twilla…purty sure not Prairie, but me remember it bein’ horn-hoof-two-leg.  It like payin’ dem back from long ago.  Me always try to helps peeps in Sand-Rock-Nothing.

Bored now.  We kill?

“Yes, yes…hmm…how about dat pack of chitter-dogs?”

Grimson was racin’ off afore I got done pointin’ at da hyenas, murderous glee pouring off of him like sexy offa trollgal dancin.’

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Hey, youse gonna eat dat?  If not, give it here…me love dat clam scorcho stuff…