Idiot.

You're an idiot.

You must have some idea of what you've just done.  You may be some country peasant, but even a few days here should make you realize that the words "Lady Convocate" mean something.  I could have you stabbed in the middle of the street.  I could have you locked up for crimes you can't even fathom and no one would have the desire or the means to oppose me.  I could have set you up with the nicest house in the countryside, and funded your little tea-making adventures for the rest of your life.  Damn, you are an idiot.

This is pathetic!  I don't even have any reason to like you.  You're thick, you're simple, and your sense of humor is decidedly lacking.  There are a hundred people in the city that would kill for a night with me, from nobles to thugs.

Alright, maybe not a hundred, but a few, certainly.

Selfish moron.  You saw that I needed you.  The only time people don't treat me like a monster here is when I'm giving them what they want.  Even Aedran's lost her mind.  I do one thing she doesn't like, and now I'm the villain?  Fuck her.  I don't need her.  I don't need a damn thing.  I came here as a nameless beggar and now I run this whole damn city.

Have fun chasing that little girl.  When one of you realizes you're both too childish to have any real connection, I'll be there to make sure you never forget it.

...

Alright, perhaps I'm not being fair.  I've had it hard.  Yeah, I'm the Lady Convocate, I am the terror of the city - watch out for Rosewater, she'll seduce you, take your wallet, stab your baby, and spit in your soup!  I'm not evil, damn it!  I'm doing good things.  Politics is ugly, and I'm the only one with enough integrity to admit what I'm doing.  Kerwin trots around with his nose in the air, acting like his position makes him regal or noble.  He manipulates, maneuvers, and lies as much as I do.  Aestan spends half his time trying to block out the fact that his 'officers' are doing more damage to the city than the Rebellion ever could.  Quattrocchi was practically a golem.  I'm the only one brave enough to face the fact that I'm essentially a worm, trying to borrow through the ignorance and hatred of the city to reach my goal - regardless of what that goal may be.  If most people are too self-centered to realize the city is bigger than the area immediately surrounding their person, so be it.  But it would be nice if at least one person made the attempt to see more.

People have no idea what I am.  I've done some stupid, stupid stuff.  And I can't tell a damn person, because they'd kill me on the spot, if they had half a brain.  Now that I'm in the Convocation, I can barely admit what I had for breakfast without it being used against me.  I just wanted someone real.  Even I'm beginning to forget what 'Heathhenel' was like before she was 'Rosewater'.  You could have helped me.  And there's nothing in the city I couldn't have given in return.  All I want-

Heathhenel growls and throws the paper on the floor.  With a few waves of her hand, it's consumed in black fire.  She takes a few breaths and looks up at the Spire.  There are still stacks of papers waiting in her office.  With one final sigh, she stands, composes herself, and returns to declining requests for mustard regulation and bleach restrictions from the Convocate-General.